PT Cruiser Cruiser

I see cop cars all the time in my hood. I live two blocks from my city's police department. Although I'm used to being surrounded by the local fuzz, I still have that visceral reaction when I see one in my rear view mirror. You know what I'm talking about. The tightening in the stomach...the automatic check of the speedometer...the mental laundry list of reasonable excuses as to why I might be speeding. Cop cars are intimidating out on the road, no matter how many times you see them.

Unless, that is, the cop car is a PT Cruiser.



That's right. I saw this ridiculous excuse for a police vehicle while I was out and about yesterday. What is going on here? Did Ford run out of Tauruses or whatever they've been making police cars out of up until now? Is this some kind of Public Relations stunt? I was kind of wondering if this police clown car would stop at the next light and a hundred or so cops would come streaming out.

Do you think the PT Cruiser car was a punishment for the cop who screwed up last month or wrote the fewest citations or something? "Stackhouse, you've got the Cruiser this month!" "Fuuuuuuck! Come on, Sarge!" That's cold. I've heard of police officers getting to drive the police Camero before, but I never thought it went the other way.

PT Cruiser cruisers are a bad idea. It's the least intimidating car of all time, except for maybe the VW Beetle with the flower vase on the dashboard. I mean, I felt comfortable enough whipping out my camera phone while I was driving behind this police car and taking a picture of it. If anything, these cars are going to incite crime and undermine the authority of the men and women in blue. I'm sure of it.

While we're at it, can we please take cops off bikes and give them motorcycles like they deserve?

Observations of no real importance.

A Few Things

1. Today as I was walking out of the grocery store, I was assaulted by offensively loud music. I can safely say that even as a bona fide old person of 35 years, the volume of said music was ridiculously attention-seeking and excessive for a grocery store parking lot. The noise was coming from this monster truck/SUV monstrosity pictured. What made the situation camera phone worthy is that the song being blasted was "Disco Stick" by Lady Gaga. I don't know what kind of person loves Lady Gaga AND drives a beast like that, but that's one hell of a specific demographic.

2. On the way home from the aforementioned grocery trip, I also saw a motorcyclist wearing a viking helmet. I couldn't safely get a picture of this, but it was a sight to behold. Florida doesn't have a helmet law, so I was happy to see that this fine biker saw fit to protect his cranium (maybe?) and show some pizazz while doing so.

3. If you're still using the crisping sleeve that comes with the Hot Pockets, you're a sucker. You don't need it. Trust me. Liberate yourself.

International Studies

Montreal, the French speaking Canadian city, is not so continental after all.

I just got done talking to my husband, who is currently in Montreal, Quebec, and he informed me that he ate at McDonald's today for lunch. Being the Pulp Fiction fan that I am, and knowing that Bryan usually gets Quarter Pounders on the rare occasion he eats at McDonald's, I had to ask...did he get a "Royale with Cheese"?

No, he did not. They do not call it a Royale with Cheese. A Quarter Pounder in Montreal is still a Quarter Pounder, even though they use the metric system and speak French. What?! Ok, so maybe the Quarter Pounder is a fast food institution.

It turns out that all throughout Canada, users of the metric system also go to Subway for a 6 inch sub. WTF? Shouldn't they be getting a 300 cm sub or whatever the hell that would be?

I don't get it. If you're going to use the metric system, you've got to commit. Apparently fast food is exempt.