Saturday, May 23, 2009

Huanying.


I need to quit smoking. I want to quit before I go back to work, which means I have until Wednesday night. I'm sad about this, mostly because I like smoking, but also because I like the store where I buy my cigarettes.

There's a little Stop-N-Rob store just around the corner from my house. I could walk there, but I don't. It's owned by a Chinese woman and (presumably) her daughter. They are very nice and they haven't raised the price of their cigarettes even though every once else has. A pack is still only $4.17; Everywhere else is well over $5. I've thought about asking them about it, but I don't want to spoil a good thing.

I stop there about every other day to buy a pack. I've learned some passable Chinese conversation, along the lines of, "How are you?", "I'm fine", "Thank you", and the like. Where am I going to use my Chinese if I stop going there? I'm going to miss them.

Also, I'm pretty sure they either think I'm a stripper or that I work at the laundry mat next door. I don't know why they would think this, or even why I think they think this, but I do (and they do). So, that's fun. I haven't bothered to correct them. I'm not sure how I would bring it up. My Chinese isn't that good yet.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Feeling Scandalous.


Yesterday, I had my naked body rubbed by a strange man.

I've had several massages before, but the massage therapists were always female. I didn't specifically request females, they just always were. I guess I fell into the assumption that the professional is largely dominated by women. Women don't mind being touched by other women, and men certainly don't mind, so it just kind of works.

Yesterday, I had a massage scheduled at my salon, after my hair appointment. I was waiting, perusing the shampoos, when a young man came up to me and asked me if I was ready. I was a bit confused. I had never seen this man at the salon before. Was his only job to take me back to the massage area and introduce me to my massage therapist? It wasn't until we got back to the massage area that I realized he WAS the massage therapist. Huh. I did not see that coming.

I'm not shy. I don't get embarrassed easily. The idea of a male massage therapist threw me off my game briefly, but I could deal with it. It occurred to me, that a lot of people would not be able to take it in stride. My husband, for one. He's gotten his fair share of professional massages and I know he would not be cool with another dude rubbing him down. I wouldn't call him homophobic, but I think physical contact, outside of a friendly hug, with another dude is pushing it for him.

I also thought of all the women who would be freaked out by this. I have to admit that when I met Wesley (Mr. Massage Therapist) that a million thoughts ran through my head that I normally wouldn't consider. Did I shave my legs? What will he think of my cellulite? Should I leave my underwear on? (I did. I normally do not. I wish I had been cool enough to go totally naked, but I just wasn't.) Damn. Why didn't I wear cuter underwear?

Of course, this wasn't a date. It was an appointment. Wesley and I weren't going to bed. He wasn't even buying me dinner, for crying out loud. But still, as I stood alone in the massage room, removing my clothes, I felt a bit nervous. I wanted to be brave. I hung my bra from the clothing hook, in plain view. I didn't attempt to hide it behind the dress hanging there. I'm a liberated woman. Damn. Why did I wear such a plain, generic bra?

Wesley, of course, was the consummate professional. We chatted a bit at first and I found out he started out in sports medicine. I stifled the urge to make any off-color comments about the situation, although that would generally be my preferred method of relieving my self-consciousness. It only took about five minutes to forget he was a guy and just enjoy my massage. Although, every time his hairy arm brushed my back, my mind screamed, "This man is touching you! He's not your husband!" True, this is the only man in the last ten years, besides my husband, who has touched me so intimately. But like I said, it was professional. Again, I resisted the urge to jokingly ask him if I was getting a happy ending. I'm actually pretty proud of my self-control here.

All in all, it was a good massage. Not the best I've had, but it was decent. I don't have any immediate plans to go back. I have to say, like most married women (I think), I've had thoughts over the years of what it would be like to be touched by a man other than my husband. It was fine, clinical, a little scandalous, but nothing compared to cuddling up with my real man at night.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Random Thoughts

I'm tan. Not just "tan for me" but legitimately tan. I like it. I don't care if I'm courting skin cancer. I get myself checked over once a year by my dermatologist, and skin cancer has a 98% cure rate anyway. (Statistic courtesy of "The Office".) I spent most of my teenage years as a pale-faced semi-goth so I'm enjoying being golden brown. When I'm naked, it looks like I'm wearing a white bikini. My husband likes this.

I'm wearing smaller jeans today. I'm not sure how this happened - I just tried them on because my favorite jeans are dirty. By smaller, I'm talking size 10 instead of 12, so I'm not exactly wasting away Lindsay Lohan style here. I'm not really on a diet, but my TMJ is acting up, so I'm only allowed to eat soft foods. I've taken this to mean brownies, white bread and butter sandwiches and oodles of pasta. Take that Dr. Atkins! (RIP) If this keeps up, I might cancel my appointment with my oral surgeon and have my husband hit me in the jaw with a baseball bat for good measure.

I'm smoking again. I quit last night at 8pm and started again five minutes ago. This is a battle I've fought since I was 17. A lot of smokers start and stop and start again, but the weird thing about me is that when I stop, I stop for years. I just started again 6 months ago. I don't have a good reason other than I like getting extra breaks at work. Plus, a lot of celebrities smoke so that is proof that smoking is super cool.

That's all for now. I might regurgitate some more useless minutiae of my life later.